On Projection
On Projection
On Projection
Projection is when your brain goes, “Hmm, this feeling is awkward… what if it belonged to you instead?” So your irritation, envy, or insecurity gets stapled onto the nearest human like a Post-it. It’s a fast way to explain discomfort (“It’s not me, it’s them!”) and, like most things fast, it’s a little wobbly.
How do we parse out what's real, from our best guess of the world around us?
Projection is when your brain goes, “Hmm, this feeling is awkward… what if it belonged to you instead?” So your irritation, envy, or insecurity gets stapled onto the nearest human like a Post-it. It’s a fast way to explain discomfort (“It’s not me, it’s them!”) and, like most things fast, it’s a little wobbly.
How do we parse out what's real, from our best guess of the world around us?
Projection is when your brain goes, “Hmm, this feeling is awkward… what if it belonged to you instead?” So your irritation, envy, or insecurity gets stapled onto the nearest human like a Post-it. It’s a fast way to explain discomfort (“It’s not me, it’s them!”) and, like most things fast, it’s a little wobbly.
How do we parse out what's real, from our best guess of the world around us?
Ethan Hsieh
/
October 30, 2025
Ethan Hsieh
/
October 30, 2025
Ethan Hsieh
/
October 30, 2025
Freud called it a defense against anxiety; Jung said it’s the Shadow at work, that is, the parts of you that didn’t get invited to your LinkedIn. Modern takes agree: we offload the stuff we don’t want to claim, and if we get in the habit, our ability to check reality starts to bend like a funhouse mirror.
What it looks like in the wild:
High certainty, low evidence. Lots of “You always…” or “You just want…”, delivered with the confidence of a weather app that’s wrong half the time.
Emotional heat creeping up. Voice volume slides from “conversation” toward “podium.”
Curiosity goes on vacation. Questions get replaced by narrations of the other person’s inner life.
Freud called it a defense against anxiety; Jung said it’s the Shadow at work, that is, the parts of you that didn’t get invited to your LinkedIn. Modern takes agree: we offload the stuff we don’t want to claim, and if we get in the habit, our ability to check reality starts to bend like a funhouse mirror.
What it looks like in the wild:
High certainty, low evidence. Lots of “You always…” or “You just want…”, delivered with the confidence of a weather app that’s wrong half the time.
Emotional heat creeping up. Voice volume slides from “conversation” toward “podium.”
Curiosity goes on vacation. Questions get replaced by narrations of the other person’s inner life.
Freud called it a defense against anxiety; Jung said it’s the Shadow at work, that is, the parts of you that didn’t get invited to your LinkedIn. Modern takes agree: we offload the stuff we don’t want to claim, and if we get in the habit, our ability to check reality starts to bend like a funhouse mirror.
What it looks like in the wild:
High certainty, low evidence. Lots of “You always…” or “You just want…”, delivered with the confidence of a weather app that’s wrong half the time.
Emotional heat creeping up. Voice volume slides from “conversation” toward “podium.”
Curiosity goes on vacation. Questions get replaced by narrations of the other person’s inner life.
Most takes on projection say, “You’re throwing your feelings at strangers; use ‘I’ statements and chill.” Helpful, but it skips the engine room. TIAMAT pops the hood: projection happens when your mind’s control panel (i.e. salience, precision, all the nerdy dials) drifts. The villain you “see” in your boss is mostly your settings misreading the scene. So we intervene where it counts: at the level of affordances. Under projection, the menu shrinks to “defend or attack.” Once we re-tune the knobs, the menu widens: ask a question, set a boundary, crack a joke, drink some water. Data starts beating drama.
Most takes on projection say, “You’re throwing your feelings at strangers; use ‘I’ statements and chill.” Helpful, but it skips the engine room. TIAMAT pops the hood: projection happens when your mind’s control panel (i.e. salience, precision, all the nerdy dials) drifts. The villain you “see” in your boss is mostly your settings misreading the scene. So we intervene where it counts: at the level of affordances. Under projection, the menu shrinks to “defend or attack.” Once we re-tune the knobs, the menu widens: ask a question, set a boundary, crack a joke, drink some water. Data starts beating drama.
Most takes on projection say, “You’re throwing your feelings at strangers; use ‘I’ statements and chill.” Helpful, but it skips the engine room. TIAMAT pops the hood: projection happens when your mind’s control panel (i.e. salience, precision, all the nerdy dials) drifts. The villain you “see” in your boss is mostly your settings misreading the scene. So we intervene where it counts: at the level of affordances. Under projection, the menu shrinks to “defend or attack.” Once we re-tune the knobs, the menu widens: ask a question, set a boundary, crack a joke, drink some water. Data starts beating drama.
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
— Carl Jung
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
— Carl Jung
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
— Carl Jung
What TIAMAT offers
Mechanism, not mystery. We don’t just say “stop projecting”, we show you the control panel (salience, precision) that’s misreading the room, and help you re-tune it so data beats drama.
More moves on the board. We widen your affordances: from “fight/flee/freeze” to “ask, name, breathe, boundary, humor, wait.” Choice comes back fast.
Craft you can trust. A tight kit of micro-skills for hot moments: own your language, check for shared reality, spot drift/script/disown, drop one well-timed question that re-authors the moment.
A scaffold that holds. Dialogue, imaginal, mindfulness, and body work woven into one ecology, with a rigorous spine and a sacred orientation (home for safety, horizon for meaning) so the changes stick when life gets loud.
What TIAMAT offers
Mechanism, not mystery. We don’t just say “stop projecting”, we show you the control panel (salience, precision) that’s misreading the room, and help you re-tune it so data beats drama.
More moves on the board. We widen your affordances: from “fight/flee/freeze” to “ask, name, breathe, boundary, humor, wait.” Choice comes back fast.
Craft you can trust. A tight kit of micro-skills for hot moments: own your language, check for shared reality, spot drift/script/disown, drop one well-timed question that re-authors the moment.
A scaffold that holds. Dialogue, imaginal, mindfulness, and body work woven into one ecology, with a rigorous spine and a sacred orientation (home for safety, horizon for meaning) so the changes stick when life gets loud.
What TIAMAT offers
Mechanism, not mystery. We don’t just say “stop projecting”, we show you the control panel (salience, precision) that’s misreading the room, and help you re-tune it so data beats drama.
More moves on the board. We widen your affordances: from “fight/flee/freeze” to “ask, name, breathe, boundary, humor, wait.” Choice comes back fast.
Craft you can trust. A tight kit of micro-skills for hot moments: own your language, check for shared reality, spot drift/script/disown, drop one well-timed question that re-authors the moment.
A scaffold that holds. Dialogue, imaginal, mindfulness, and body work woven into one ecology, with a rigorous spine and a sacred orientation (home for safety, horizon for meaning) so the changes stick when life gets loud.
The receipts (how you can tell it’s working)
Time-to-repair shrinks. Blowups still happen, but the “oops → check-in → repair” goes from days to minutes.
Language tilts. Less “you always/you think,” more “I’m telling myself X, am I off?” People relax around you because you’re not narrating their inner life.
Body comes back online. Your breath and face unfreeze faster; you can feel your feet while talking. (We’re big fans of feet.)
Curiosity survives arousal. You can ask one honest question while you’re heated. That’s new.
Fewer invented villains. You notice the moment you’re arguing with a character and pivot toward the actual human.
The receipts (how you can tell it’s working)
Time-to-repair shrinks. Blowups still happen, but the “oops → check-in → repair” goes from days to minutes.
Language tilts. Less “you always/you think,” more “I’m telling myself X, am I off?” People relax around you because you’re not narrating their inner life.
Body comes back online. Your breath and face unfreeze faster; you can feel your feet while talking. (We’re big fans of feet.)
Curiosity survives arousal. You can ask one honest question while you’re heated. That’s new.
Fewer invented villains. You notice the moment you’re arguing with a character and pivot toward the actual human.
The receipts (how you can tell it’s working)
Time-to-repair shrinks. Blowups still happen, but the “oops → check-in → repair” goes from days to minutes.
Language tilts. Less “you always/you think,” more “I’m telling myself X, am I off?” People relax around you because you’re not narrating their inner life.
Body comes back online. Your breath and face unfreeze faster; you can feel your feet while talking. (We’re big fans of feet.)
Curiosity survives arousal. You can ask one honest question while you’re heated. That’s new.
Fewer invented villains. You notice the moment you’re arguing with a character and pivot toward the actual human.
October 22, 2025
On Character
Character isn’t your Hogwarts house; it’s the through-line that shows up when your coffee’s cold, your inbox is hot, and your friend is late, again. In fancy terms: character shapes your salience landscape (i.e. what pops as worth noticing or ignoring) so some options never even make the menu (e.g., “send rage email” becomes unthinkable). That through-line is the point: stable enough to steer, flexible enough to fit the moment.
How do we develop our character without falling prey to a social persona that we think is best for others to see?