On Character
On Character
On Character
Character isn’t your Hogwarts house; it’s the through-line that shows up when your coffee’s cold, your inbox is hot, and your friend is late, again. In fancy terms: character shapes your salience landscape (i.e. what pops as worth noticing or ignoring) so some options never even make the menu (e.g., “send rage email” becomes unthinkable). That through-line is the point: stable enough to steer, flexible enough to fit the moment.
How do we develop our character without falling prey to a social persona that we think is best for others to see?
Character isn’t your Hogwarts house; it’s the through-line that shows up when your coffee’s cold, your inbox is hot, and your friend is late, again. In fancy terms: character shapes your salience landscape (i.e. what pops as worth noticing or ignoring) so some options never even make the menu (e.g., “send rage email” becomes unthinkable). That through-line is the point: stable enough to steer, flexible enough to fit the moment.
How do we develop our character without falling prey to a social persona that we think is best for others to see?
Character isn’t your Hogwarts house; it’s the through-line that shows up when your coffee’s cold, your inbox is hot, and your friend is late, again. In fancy terms: character shapes your salience landscape (i.e. what pops as worth noticing or ignoring) so some options never even make the menu (e.g., “send rage email” becomes unthinkable). That through-line is the point: stable enough to steer, flexible enough to fit the moment.
How do we develop our character without falling prey to a social persona that we think is best for others to see?
Ellie Chan
/
October 22, 2025
Ellie Chan
/
October 22, 2025
Ellie Chan
/
October 22, 2025
Character is often taken to be a bag of admirable traits (such as honesty, courage, humility) applied consistently across different situations (see: Aristotle, Aquinas, Vervaeke). Virtues also live in tension (e.g. compassion versus justice), so we juggle trade-offs instead of choosing one virtue to apply to all scenarios.
Another take is that character complements personality (a la Big Five). If you're low on agreeableness, cultivate compassion. If you're high in neuroticism, train courage. Sounds good, but how can we take on virtues?
Character is often taken to be a bag of admirable traits (such as honesty, courage, humility) applied consistently across different situations (see: Aristotle, Aquinas, Vervaeke). Virtues also live in tension (e.g. compassion versus justice), so we juggle trade-offs instead of choosing one virtue to apply to all scenarios.
Another take is that character complements personality (a la Big Five). If you're low on agreeableness, cultivate compassion. If you're high in neuroticism, train courage. Sounds good, but how can we take on virtues?
Character is often taken to be a bag of admirable traits (such as honesty, courage, humility) applied consistently across different situations (see: Aristotle, Aquinas, Vervaeke). Virtues also live in tension (e.g. compassion versus justice), so we juggle trade-offs instead of choosing one virtue to apply to all scenarios.
Another take is that character complements personality (a la Big Five). If you're low on agreeableness, cultivate compassion. If you're high in neuroticism, train courage. Sounds good, but how can we take on virtues?
The How
Character is how your system tunes attention to get an optimal grip on a situation. Think of your mind like two muscles pulling on a steering wheel: one says “go,” one says “slow.” Good judgment is that tug-of-war landing in the right lane for this moment. Without that balance, “be brave” is just a bumper sticker; with it, bravery means you still notice what matters even when you’re scared. Fear’s in the car, but it’s not driving.
Character matures fastest in dialogue and community, reasoning improves when distributed, and transformation of character is braided with transformation of communitas. If your circle can reality-check your stories, your settings recalibrate faster.
The How
Character is how your system tunes attention to get an optimal grip on a situation. Think of your mind like two muscles pulling on a steering wheel: one says “go,” one says “slow.” Good judgment is that tug-of-war landing in the right lane for this moment. Without that balance, “be brave” is just a bumper sticker; with it, bravery means you still notice what matters even when you’re scared. Fear’s in the car, but it’s not driving.
Character matures fastest in dialogue and community, reasoning improves when distributed, and transformation of character is braided with transformation of communitas. If your circle can reality-check your stories, your settings recalibrate faster.
The How
Character is how your system tunes attention to get an optimal grip on a situation. Think of your mind like two muscles pulling on a steering wheel: one says “go,” one says “slow.” Good judgment is that tug-of-war landing in the right lane for this moment. Without that balance, “be brave” is just a bumper sticker; with it, bravery means you still notice what matters even when you’re scared. Fear’s in the car, but it’s not driving.
Character matures fastest in dialogue and community, reasoning improves when distributed, and transformation of character is braided with transformation of communitas. If your circle can reality-check your stories, your settings recalibrate faster.
“First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.”
— Epictetus
“First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.”
— Epictetus
“First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.”
— Epictetus
What does TIAMAT offer?
More real options, right when you need them. We train the fit between you and the moment so useful choices pop into view. When the truth lands, the menu widens; when the menu widens, agency returns. Instead of grabbing the most dramatic move, you can pick the best-fit one: ask a clean question, clarify the facts, set a small boundary, take a breath, even use a dash of humor. “Affordances” just means the actions the situation makes doable for you. They aren’t in you or in the world alone, they live in the fit. TIAMAT trains that fit.
What does TIAMAT offer?
More real options, right when you need them. We train the fit between you and the moment so useful choices pop into view. When the truth lands, the menu widens; when the menu widens, agency returns. Instead of grabbing the most dramatic move, you can pick the best-fit one: ask a clean question, clarify the facts, set a small boundary, take a breath, even use a dash of humor. “Affordances” just means the actions the situation makes doable for you. They aren’t in you or in the world alone, they live in the fit. TIAMAT trains that fit.
What does TIAMAT offer?
More real options, right when you need them. We train the fit between you and the moment so useful choices pop into view. When the truth lands, the menu widens; when the menu widens, agency returns. Instead of grabbing the most dramatic move, you can pick the best-fit one: ask a clean question, clarify the facts, set a small boundary, take a breath, even use a dash of humor. “Affordances” just means the actions the situation makes doable for you. They aren’t in you or in the world alone, they live in the fit. TIAMAT trains that fit.
How?
We start by tuning the mental “dials” that steer attention and confidence: we notice where your focus skews (what you over- or under-weight), then practice paired moves that balance each other: pause/speak, assert/inquire, boundary/empathy; until they hold up under stress. As those settings stabilize, your mind stops spotlighting drama and starts highlighting useful data. The old tug-of-war between virtues (candor vs. kindness, courage vs. caution) becomes coordination rather than collision, so you can pick the right mix for this situation instead of defaulting to your loudest habit.
How?
We start by tuning the mental “dials” that steer attention and confidence: we notice where your focus skews (what you over- or under-weight), then practice paired moves that balance each other: pause/speak, assert/inquire, boundary/empathy; until they hold up under stress. As those settings stabilize, your mind stops spotlighting drama and starts highlighting useful data. The old tug-of-war between virtues (candor vs. kindness, courage vs. caution) becomes coordination rather than collision, so you can pick the right mix for this situation instead of defaulting to your loudest habit.
How?
We start by tuning the mental “dials” that steer attention and confidence: we notice where your focus skews (what you over- or under-weight), then practice paired moves that balance each other: pause/speak, assert/inquire, boundary/empathy; until they hold up under stress. As those settings stabilize, your mind stops spotlighting drama and starts highlighting useful data. The old tug-of-war between virtues (candor vs. kindness, courage vs. caution) becomes coordination rather than collision, so you can pick the right mix for this situation instead of defaulting to your loudest habit.
October 15, 2025
Participation in the world
“Participation” is basically Heidegger’s being-in-the-world with the training wheels on: you’re not an observer in abstract space; you’re already in the play, shaping and being shaped by what shows up.
How do we be at home in reality without falling into the void of nihilism?