When “Work on the Self” Becomes Self-Involved
When “Work on the Self” Becomes Self-Involved
When “Work on the Self” Becomes Self-Involved
On the surface, self-help is all about doing the things you want to do,
creating positive experiences for
yourself and empowering you.
It’s about what you want,
who you are,
battling your inner demons,
finding your inner child,
manifesting your dreams.
But once that’s all said and done, transforming your life is not about you.
On the surface, self-help is all about doing the things you want to do,
creating positive experiences for
yourself and empowering you.
It’s about what you want,
who you are,
battling your inner demons,
finding your inner child,
manifesting your dreams.
But once that’s all said and done, transforming your life is not about you.
On the surface, self-help is all about doing the things you want to do,
creating positive experiences for
yourself and empowering you.
It’s about what you want,
who you are,
battling your inner demons,
finding your inner child,
manifesting your dreams.
But once that’s all said and done, transforming your life is not about you.
Ethan Hsieh
/
November 5, 2025
Ethan Hsieh
/
November 5, 2025
Ethan Hsieh
/
November 5, 2025
The growth and development that opens the world up for connectedness and meaning is more than a self-centered pursuit of perfection.
In order to be able to…
Navigate the complex challenges of life, adulthood and relationships…
Resolve conflict to deepen, rather than severe connection…
Genuinely collaborate with others and deepen our understanding of ourselves and the world around us.
…You need to develop the capacities and constitution to play with others and be an agent that transforms others, not just yourself.
No podcast, self-help book, instructional video can do that for you.
The growth and development that opens the world up for connectedness and meaning is more than a self-centered pursuit of perfection.
In order to be able to…
Navigate the complex challenges of life, adulthood and relationships…
Resolve conflict to deepen, rather than severe connection…
Genuinely collaborate with others and deepen our understanding of ourselves and the world around us.
…You need to develop the capacities and constitution to play with others and be an agent that transforms others, not just yourself.
No podcast, self-help book, instructional video can do that for you.
The growth and development that opens the world up for connectedness and meaning is more than a self-centered pursuit of perfection.
In order to be able to…
Navigate the complex challenges of life, adulthood and relationships…
Resolve conflict to deepen, rather than severe connection…
Genuinely collaborate with others and deepen our understanding of ourselves and the world around us.
…You need to develop the capacities and constitution to play with others and be an agent that transforms others, not just yourself.
No podcast, self-help book, instructional video can do that for you.
Transformation is not a skill to perfect, it’s a process of becoming.
To transform and to be transformational, you have to move past collecting tools, and fundamentally shift your perspective on yourself in relation to the world.
This is similar to becoming a parent, moving to a new country or getting a pet:
You can read every parenting guide or watch every travel vlog and these can offer you useful things to look out for and notice tendencies in yourself that might have been habitual for years. But knowing all those things doesn't mean that when push comes to shove, you’ll recognize what’s needed in the moment and to act on them.
Transformation is not a skill to perfect, it’s a process of becoming.
To transform and to be transformational, you have to move past collecting tools, and fundamentally shift your perspective on yourself in relation to the world.
This is similar to becoming a parent, moving to a new country or getting a pet:
You can read every parenting guide or watch every travel vlog and these can offer you useful things to look out for and notice tendencies in yourself that might have been habitual for years. But knowing all those things doesn't mean that when push comes to shove, you’ll recognize what’s needed in the moment and to act on them.
Transformation is not a skill to perfect, it’s a process of becoming.
To transform and to be transformational, you have to move past collecting tools, and fundamentally shift your perspective on yourself in relation to the world.
This is similar to becoming a parent, moving to a new country or getting a pet:
You can read every parenting guide or watch every travel vlog and these can offer you useful things to look out for and notice tendencies in yourself that might have been habitual for years. But knowing all those things doesn't mean that when push comes to shove, you’ll recognize what’s needed in the moment and to act on them.
“When you are in a state of egocentrism, you are not properly seeing the agent-arena relationship. You are projecting your needs, fears, and biases onto the world, mistaking your salience landscape for reality itself.”
-Prof. John Vervaeke,
Cognitive Scientist & Philosopher
University of Toronto
Author of Awakening From The Meaning Crisis
“When you are in a state of egocentrism, you are not properly seeing the agent-arena relationship. You are projecting your needs, fears, and biases onto the world, mistaking your salience landscape for reality itself.”
-Prof. John Vervaeke,
Cognitive Scientist & Philosopher
University of Toronto
Author of Awakening From The Meaning Crisis
“When you are in a state of egocentrism, you are not properly seeing the agent-arena relationship. You are projecting your needs, fears, and biases onto the world, mistaking your salience landscape for reality itself.”
-Prof. John Vervaeke,
Cognitive Scientist & Philosopher
University of Toronto
Author of Awakening From The Meaning Crisis
In that same vein, if you want to become someone who lives a good life, full of meaning, purpose and belonging, it isn’t enough to create a checklist of the best things to do in every possible scenario.
Now that you’ve woken up to the ways you might need to grow (and self-help is good for that!), you’ll need to enter an ecology of practices in fellowship with others to grow together towards being better persons.
Of course, you’ll need to practice and be fluent with skills. But you also need to be in scenarios which challenge your assumptions, beliefs and identity in order to bring those skills to bear.
The good news is...
…by integrating theory and practice, anyone can transform their life and step out of self-destructive loops, no matter where you are in your journey through life.
In that same vein, if you want to become someone who lives a good life, full of meaning, purpose and belonging, it isn’t enough to create a checklist of the best things to do in every possible scenario.
Now that you’ve woken up to the ways you might need to grow (and self-help is good for that!), you’ll need to enter an ecology of practices in fellowship with others to grow together towards being better persons.
Of course, you’ll need to practice and be fluent with skills. But you also need to be in scenarios which challenge your assumptions, beliefs and identity in order to bring those skills to bear.
The good news is...
…by integrating theory and practice, anyone can transform their life and step out of self-destructive loops, no matter where you are in your journey through life.
In that same vein, if you want to become someone who lives a good life, full of meaning, purpose and belonging, it isn’t enough to create a checklist of the best things to do in every possible scenario.
Now that you’ve woken up to the ways you might need to grow (and self-help is good for that!), you’ll need to enter an ecology of practices in fellowship with others to grow together towards being better persons.
Of course, you’ll need to practice and be fluent with skills. But you also need to be in scenarios which challenge your assumptions, beliefs and identity in order to bring those skills to bear.
The good news is...
…by integrating theory and practice, anyone can transform their life and step out of self-destructive loops, no matter where you are in your journey through life.
You can be more present in relationships old, new and yet to be.
You can create the conditions that invite flow into your projects and communities.
And you can become so tuned in to life that you’ll be resilient to conflict; able to stay oriented towards a good life and create actionable steps to realizing that life with those that matter.
But in order to walk this path, you will need to understand…
3 Pillars of Transformational Growth
Structures such as theory of mind help you track the relationship between your personal experience with those of others.
Dynamics between yourself, others and the world to intervene on your cognition, consciousness and character.
States of consciousness can help us to orient towards something greater than ourselves with virtue and virtuosity.
You can be more present in relationships old, new and yet to be.
You can create the conditions that invite flow into your projects and communities.
And you can become so tuned in to life that you’ll be resilient to conflict; able to stay oriented towards a good life and create actionable steps to realizing that life with those that matter.
But in order to walk this path, you will need to understand…
3 Pillars of Transformational Growth
Structures such as theory of mind help you track the relationship between your personal experience with those of others.
Dynamics between yourself, others and the world to intervene on your cognition, consciousness and character.
States of consciousness can help us to orient towards something greater than ourselves with virtue and virtuosity.
You can be more present in relationships old, new and yet to be.
You can create the conditions that invite flow into your projects and communities.
And you can become so tuned in to life that you’ll be resilient to conflict; able to stay oriented towards a good life and create actionable steps to realizing that life with those that matter.
But in order to walk this path, you will need to understand…
3 Pillars of Transformational Growth
Structures such as theory of mind help you track the relationship between your personal experience with those of others.
Dynamics between yourself, others and the world to intervene on your cognition, consciousness and character.
States of consciousness can help us to orient towards something greater than ourselves with virtue and virtuosity.
November 5, 2025
What is TIAMAT?
TIAMAT is not a single technique.
It’s neither therapy nor a self-help hack.
It’s a living ecology of practices
for becoming more human, more whole, and more alive.
Tiamat is the name of a Mesopotamian goddess of primordial chaos. We thought that was pretty cool.
It’s also an acronym: